This blog is about the I-called ice breaking ceremony!! Ceremony? Ice breaking?? Gosh, what am I talking about?? Nothing really, I meant to talk about this one “official” interaction I had with my never-made-it-to-my-future husband. All my attas and others had insisted, I marry him, and as usual, being the blacksheep of the family and also wanting to teach them a lesson, I rejected but anyway prepared for the saga.
Just to give a lil background on this tradition, its called “pellichupulu” in telugu and literally translates into Marriage Looks and transliterally (whatever that means!!) translates into an age-old tradition of the guy coming with his family to see a girl whom he can marry if he likes, in the girls home, in front of the girls family (and also if the family is communicative enough, in front of the whole neighborhood) and saying “yes” or “no” to the girl. Added advantages (of course to the guy!!) are, free snacks and drinks, lots of attention and free looking at other prospective girls in the family (spare and to be on the safer side huh!!)
This guy* *Name kept confidential to protect privacy* was the typical US-returned guy, carrying a mineral water bottle in his hands all the times, sneering at how dirty India was and also did a comparative analysis of how America is far better than India. I came across him a couple of times in various functions and poojas, getting all the attention (which of course he got cos he was the most eligible bachelor in the whole town being US-RETURNED!). Maybe he thought we were uneducated or maybe we deliberately put up that image, I am not sure, but he definitely thought he was the most-educated of the lot, not only his lot, i.e. the men, but also our lot, the girls!! We whispered about his put-up accent behind his back and laughed of course unknown to the elders as it was ill-manners!
One day, dad asked me to stay home and not go anywhere as he was expecting someone whom I wanted to meet. Stay home? On a Sunday? Godd!!
“Dad, what’s wrong with you? I have a rummy match with my friends!! I have to go and get novels that prashanth got from his uncle!! Need to meet neetha and plan for her upcoming bday!! Noways!! I am NOT staying!!”
“All this can wait!! They are someone very important!!”
“Okay!! But u have to drop me off at neetha’s once they go!! *hope these people go off soon*”
“K, Hurry up and get dressed, wear that half saree you wore for the SeethaRaama Kalyanam”
“Half saree? Daddy, please gimme a break!! I won’t!”
“You have to, they are coming because the guy wants to meet you and if everything goes well you will be married to him.”
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOm
I WAS SHELL-SHOCKED. I am just 23, what’s the hurry?? I don’t want to get married now!!*Noooooooooooooooooooo!!**&%^*&^(!(*!&*!&!*(&!*
“Okay, dad!! Can I talk and say no if I don’t like him??”
Of course you can darling!! I won’t force you if you don’t want to, you know that right??”
Then anyways I am going to say no, so please cancel this #^$%$%%%!
Mom: Shut up!! Go and get ready!! And you please don’t start this freedom and liberty business again! You already spoilt her enough!!
Sunday, morning 11 AM
Characters: Dad, Mom, FFIL, FMIL, FSIL (mom already started the guy’s father as my kaboye mamagaru (future father-in-law, FFIL and the guy’s mother as my kaboye attagaru (future mother-in-law) and the guy as kaboye Alludu (future son-in-law). For convenience we will call them FFIL, FMIL, and FSIL), and me. (And the whole neighborhood, who will be mute spectators to the whole drama)
Living Room:
Dad: Please come in!! How are you? Did you find it difficult to find our house?
FFIL: Not at all, my son has this great gadget on his mobile, whats that ra?? Some googly maps or something and we could trace your house within seconds. What technology na?? My son knows all such things a lot, IIT na!!
FMIL: Is this your own house? How old is it?
Dad: No, it’s a company quarter. Our own house is in
FFIL, FMIL, FSIL: Good!!
FFIL: This is my wife and my son.
FMIL, FSIL: Namaste
Dad: Calls my mom, this is my wife and my son.
Mom, bro: Namaste, please make yourselves comfortable.
Bedroom:
Me: what the hell!! Isn’t that the
Some aunty: The guy is so handsome eh!
I gave her one of the most scathing looks
Some other aunty: wear some flowers on your hair na! You will look like a female! *now what does she mean by that??*
Me: I am allergic to jasmines, so forget it aunty!!
Living room:
FMIL: Don’t u have AC? Its so hot!! We have AC at our home. You know how sensitive my son is to the heat, US returned na? Can’t take the heat!!
Dad: Someone, put on the cooler, sorry andi, we don’t have AC!!
FFIL: so, what kind of work do you do? (And the conversation went on)
I saw the guy getting restless and trying to catch glimpses of what was going on inside.
FSIL: so what do you do man? (To my bro)
Bro: I am studying
FSIL: STILL??
Bro: I am just 17 *u expect me to pull bullock carts*
FSIL: Oh!! You don’t look like you are 17! BTW, how much did your sis study? 10th or inter??
Bro: well, you better ask that question to her *A##%^&** wait till you talk to her!!*
FSIL: Okay!! Why don’t u go and ask her to come??
Bro: Sure!!*Saaley!! I will tell this to her and then you r done with*
Bedroom:
Mom: come here and take these snacks to them!
Me: Mom, how come you made alu bajjis for them while you never make them for me! Change the snacks!
Mom: shut up and take this tray, smile and keep your head down! Don’t laugh your stupid high-pitched laughter if u feel like it! Just smile and behave like a female (Oh my!!)
Me: what’s his name?
Mom: ******
Okay
Bro: Akka! He asked me if you studied 10th or managed to finish Inter!
Me: What did you tell him? *Bugger*
Bro: I said ask her yourself!
Me: Good *wink*
Living Room:
Dad: This is my daughter.
Me: Namaste andi!!
FMIL, FFIL: Namaste amma! Please sit down! (Ah! Asking me to sit in my own house!!)
FSIL: Hi, My name is Blah
Me: Hello, how are you doing?
Dad: I would like to show you my garden, I love gardening you see!!
FFLI, FMIL: Sure, let’s leave these two alone!!
Exit.
FSIL: I saw you at the temple a few days back! U wore the same dress!
Me: Oh! *smile*
FSIL: so tell me. Do you know how to cook chicken?
Me: Whatt?? No I don’t! I know how to cook Maggie though!! *you are thinking of making me cook chicken for you?*
FSIL: Oh! *disappointment* don’t worry, I will teach you!
Me: *What are you? Cook in some hotel?* Smile
FSIL: You want to study further? I have no problem with that!!
Me: study how further? *didn’t you guys do a background check on me?*
FSIL: Degree maybe?
Me: why did u decide to marry me?
FSIL: coz I liked you?
ME: Why?
FSIL: what does that mean?
Me: exact reason please?
FSIL: you are beautiful that’s y and you match my expectations of a good wife
Me: that’s all??
FSIL: for now, that’s all!!
Me: What else do you know about me?
FSIL: Nothing!Y don’t you tell me?
Me: Do u have this misconception about all the girls in general or particularly about me?
FSIL: *clueless*, what are you talking about?
Me: studying further!
FSIL: Oh? That? No, I heard from someone!
Me: I am a PG in Forensic Science. I am already pursuing my PHD.
FSIL: *shock* *white-face* But they dint tell me that!!
Me: They? Who are they?
FSIL: Nothing!! Hobbies?
Me: Not many, surfing, mountaineering, reading and writing!!
FSIL: wooooooooooo *surprised*
Me: and you?
FSIL: I party and go out a lot with friends!
Me: so u still want to marry me?
FSIL: Yes!!
Me: what do you plan to do after you marry me?
FSIL: AS in? *wink*
Me: as in, do u want me to come along with you to the
FSIL: settle down here? Are you mad? No way, I plan to take you to US and eventually my parents also will come
Me: Okay!
FSIL: So you will marry me?
Me: Can I take some time??
FSIL *clearly confident that it’s a yes* Sure!!
Me: thanks
Exit
Dad: thanks for coming by!
FFIL, FMIL: No problem bavagaru!! We will tell you our opinion in a few days!
Mom: sure andi! Please call!
Bro: Bye!!
FSIL, FMIL AND FFIL: Bye
Exit
Dad: So??
Me: No
Mom: Whatt?? You are lucky to get such a good match! Are you out of your senses??
Me: I said NO
Bro: Akka said No, so it’s a NO for me too!!
Me: Thanks ra!!he plans to take me to the
Dad: but,
Mom: but,
Me: you want me to be happy? Then let’s not talk about it!
Bro: Akka, rummy match?
Me: chalo, lets go!!
Thus ended my saga! I heard that they guy was very particular to marry me and sent messengers thrice, but my dad said no and eventually the messengers stopped coming!!
