Posthumous

The title has been copied from Kushwanth Singh. No regerets though! everyone dies, its natural! so I think I can use this title.

I do not know if anyone has even faced the customary death ceremonies but I can vouch that its worse than death itself. I am a South Indian Brahmin, a Telugu Brahmin female who is stuck in eternity (if that exists!) torn apart between rituals and individuality. Society says, I am supposed to follow these but my lil brain says NO, its a goddamn waste of money and reosurces and time! Now, I hope none of the elders read this blog. I am not afraid of them , just that I dont want to hurt their feelings.

Just today, one of my grandmothers passed away. If you have seen the big south indian families, I think you will understand the term "one of the grandmothers". They are numerous. Your Mom's sister's husband's cousin's sister-in-law's brother's wife's mom! I never understood these even thought Brilliant Tutorials taught me solving these puzzles for two looooooooooong year! ;) And since I am the only daughter of the family who stays in Hyderabad, rest all being in either faraway countries or faraway towns, happily married and faraway from all these functions too, My mom called me (she stays faraway too!) at work when I was planning an important meeting and said, in an fearful tone (she knows I get angry when I am the only one who has to go :( ) Beta, her son is a very good person, he helped me when i was 5 years old in my homework, please go beta! They will feel good! " What THE HELL?? Poor Mom, very emotional, very sentimental etc etc. She never asks me to do anything. I said Okay! Lets see, Vanastahlipuram, hmm, about 20 kms from work...I will borrow someone's bike and go and come back to the meeting. So, I stopped all my work in between and drove all the way. with 3 traffic jams (1. coz of school exams and in turn school buses; 2. Coz of a stupid opening of a shopping mall by some stupid actress and the roads being blocked by stupid people who tried to steal a glimpse of their scorching screen seductress; 3. One more major traffic jam at an eminent Xrds due to an agitation by seemingly innocent students and all the 4 roads being blocked for about 3 kms in the range) , by the time I reached the place, after a 2 hour tiring journey, my meeting had already gone to the dogs (no pun intended)

Like I said, a big south indian family, people sitting and discussing how and when the poor lady died, what she had fro breakfast, what she had for dinner, how she said hi to everyone who passed by, how she ate, etc etc and her dearest daughter crying out loud. I walked in with a garland , surprised that there was no garland put already and held the daughter's hand. Poor lady, she said how the old lady remembered my name in the last days just because she felt like talking about the ill effects SW industry has on a female's body and how my lifestyle has led to my obesity! I mean...WHATT? It was okay that she discussed all this, but it was not at all okay that its re-discussed in front of 50 odd people of which I dint even know 50% :!!!! I just nodded and cursed my mom bigtime!

I walked out to see a couple of people who I had met eons back asking me my salary my role etc etc. I am like, helloooooooooooo there's a death thats happened in the family and why do you want to know about my salary? are you going to ask for donations based on the CTC? Again, politely avoiding these conversations, i sat in one corner of the varendah and started waiting for my parents to arrive when I heard the converation of the daughter with her son. The son is my age and a non-smiling person, for reason unknown he never smiles much. " Pedda golusu naakey...maa amma nagalu anni nakemoddu, koddlley chuskunnaru kadha vallaney theesko manu kaani pedda golusu naakey" (translation: My mom's big necklace is mine. I dont want any other of my mom's jewellery. the daughter-in-laws only looked after her na, they can divide the rest of jewellery amongst themselves, but the big necklace is undoubteldy mine). For some reason, I laughed out loud! Poor grandmom, good that she died...or else, if she had heard this she would have died twice! :(

At this pecise moment, she has already been cremated and the big heads of the family (yes, heads only without hearts!) are in a meeting to discuss how the money that she left should be divided, who will get what and how much. She died at 10:30 AM and its not even 10:30 PM.

May she RIP!